Yeah...what they don't tell you, is that you'll be in thousands of bucks in debt with student loans, and you'll be busting your ass, burning yourself up, and working like a dog, with the most crap-tastic schedule in the world, for chump change! And nobody graduates culinary school and steps right into a lucrative leadership position without experience. Why did I want to be a chef again? Damn that food network....it's so NOT glamourous, but somebody's gotta work every holiday and weekend so that the world can eat.
So now that I have a little experience, I've been feeling discouraged because it feels like I'm growing stagnant. My career feels like its going in slow motion, it's hard to get respect (especially if you're a woman in the kitchen), to get a promotion, or for anyone to even appreciate the hard work I put in...sigh. It feels even worse when I see my paycheck, I technically make more money an hour than I did 4 years ago, but due to the economy, I actually make less! When I went to do my taxes last year, I couldn't believe it!!!
Overtime used to be hanging over my head, an option that was so abundant that I would turn down working that extra 6th day for the week, and now.....my hours have been cut, and my work load has been cranked up....I'm doing the work of 2 or 3 people, this is something we didn't even think of a year and a half ago, and now after barely knocking that work out in time, you get sent home early....goodbye healthy paychecks!
Now that I've been pinching pennies for a few years, I've been discouraged with this line of work. The problem, is that I've put so much money (culinary school, and now I'm back in school for baking/pastry)...well, student loan money, into this, and time. How can I start in something new from ground zero? I have to pay my bills, starting over won't bring in the dollar dollar bills!
I get away from the stress of my life by going to belly dance class...I love it!!! It's the one thing that I pinch and squeeze my pennies for. No matter how broke I am....and I am, trust me, I ALWAYS find a way to pay for belly dance. It's my passion...secretly, I want to go professional...sshh, don't tell anyone...LOL. I've even been boxing some ideas around in my head...maybe I can dance as a side job (since I'm so broke and still dropping dimes on dancing). There are a few girls in some of my belly dance classes that are Pro and they seem to dance as well I as do (or I as well as them, or around the same level..whatever!), so I figured, why can't I get on this bandwagon too? I just don't know how to get into going pro...and I'm nervous about asking my classmates about it (don't wanna step on any toes, or infringe on their territory), and letting my instructor know that I am interested...I'm also afraid that she may tell me that I'm not ready.
There's something about putting on those beautiful costumes, exotic makeup, and just becoming that feisty, sexy, fantasy character that I can't be in real life...or in the kitchen at work. Smelling like fish or bacon, and being greasy with flour dusted all over your shoes isn't exactly the most womanly, sexy look. I've always been a performer (dance team in college, marching/symphonic band and winterguard in high school, and tap/ballet when I was really young), but ever since culinary school, I've had to let that part of me lapse (more on this in another post). Belly dancing has given me back a part of me that I thought I lost forever....okay..I know that sounds dramatic...but really, it's how I feel. I am in love with belly dance...I am, the Belly Dancing chef!
Until next time,
B.D. Chef.
